Tuesday, 5 April 2011

Comments can Kill...

Mirrors reflect; mirrors can be your worst enemy but it tends to be other people who leave you with a fucked up reflection of the real you. Yes, what's inside really matters but a comment made about your appearance can mess you up for life and can, in many cases, lead to eating disorders, OCD's and Body Dismorphic Disorder.

The above can lead to suicide or a life of hell and not ever being able to accept yourself. I am a 46 year old man and I suffer with BDD. During the hard core therapy I have had over the past 15 months it has become blindingly obvious that the bullying I experienced at School went a very long way to causing me some of the mental hell I have been through since. It is a sum of the parts but an important one.

The next time you think of commenting on how someone looks(in the negative) do consider this; it passed from your lips in a micro second but could live with that person for many years. Who really gives a fuck what shape people are or how small they are or how large?...Disorders come to people from all back grounds...Women, Men, Boys, Girls, rich, poor...the effects of mental hell do not discriminate.

My mirror checking is nowhere near as bad as it was. I have stopped self harm. But when I do look in a mirror and when I do feel bad, the comments that were made about me over the years start ringing in my head. Bullying caused a defective schema to trigger off a life of self loathing...this was planted in me at 8 years old and stayed with me. I have been on an acute Psychiatric ward and nearly killed myself twice....funny isn't it?

These days there is the most ridiculous and vile need to 'look good'. Who says? Some cheap throw away trash magazines and fucked up red top Tabloids. It is not real..none of it. Is it ok for the Daily Mail to name a whole generation of kids Chavs?...no its Fascist. Yet this one word is used to abuse a whole section of society and mainly because of how they dress and look...I see them as our beautiful and beat up youth. Everyone brings colour to the world....no matter where you come from.

I promise you that no one will ever want to have BDD...but I fear the pressures being put on young women and men will have a pay back in 10 or 20 years time that we will all regret.

I would like to link you to this blog by Kate Nash, a talented and creative lady who is in the public eye. I read it and it was perfectly worded......it matters not who you are; the body image and what is said about you can hurt and have devastating effects. Be nice to people....click link below.

http://myignorantyouth.blogspot.com/2011/04/freaks-hold-hands.html

http://borisdanski.blogspot.com/2011/02/photographs-will-find-her.html A poem about the beauty of youth by me x

T A Roberts London 2011

7 comments:

Sy's Prints said...

A really great post, beautifully written.
sy

Tim said...

thank you so much x

Sy's Prints said...

no worries. Hope things work out, I'm looking forward to reading more of your writing :-)

jenniferannthompson said...

Well said Tim. You do so much to bring awareness to BDD. You should be proud of yourself.x

Tim said...

thank you for reading honey x

Anonymous said...

I love you for writing this. Thank God for people like you. I have BDD also, and it's excrutiatingly painful at times. It's good to know I'm not alone with my views. Take care of yourself. YOU are a BEAUTIFUL human being.

Tim said...

thank you.....how kind of you