Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Attacked by a Schema and BDD at Fever Pitch

I am getting the kick in my head telling me that my BDD showing up again; I know John will tell me that it is my schema's attacking me but they are very hard too fight back against. It is my worse schema, my defective one. I scored the highest score possible on this one during Psychological tests.

I have done well and been on a good balance for some time now but I can hear the storm in the background and I know it will come over my head anytime soon.

I continue to find it very hard to do life alone and to be this isolated. I want affection but have to live with the fact that I will never find it. Being born this freaky means I took the wrong pack of cards and coming to terms with that is as hard now as it was when I was a teenager.

Writing 'lost romantic soul' poetry  does me no good and I am often at war with it so I am not going to write anymore. I have deleted several of my writes and will be leaving the blog open for anyone who wishes to see it but I am not going to write anymore.

Do forgive me in advance because I know the next few weeks will be tough. I will try to hide it.


Tim (London May 20111)


Javthompson said...

I'm sorry to hear the BDD may be coming back. Try to remember if it does that it will pass. You say you've been well for some time so keep that in mind. For what it's worth you have friends here who think you're great. Take care.x

lilabraga said...

I know exactly how you feel...Praying for you,cos I know is a hard road ahead of you!
Remember that you are not alone!

Tim said...

thank you for your kind comments x

Poetic Justice said...

You're not freaky Tim, you really aren't. You're talented and very awesome and people care, including me...even though I don't know you that well..I do care !

Take it easy and please remember to be kind to yourself:)

Tim said...

thank you..such a lovely comment :)